The Case for Performative Self-Improvement
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👋 Hey dumdums,
Last week I watched a woman at a coffee shop take four photos of her oat milk latte, caption it "digital detox day 🌿," and post it to Instagram. Then she put her phone face-down on the table like she was laying a beloved pet to rest.
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to feel superior. Instead I felt something worse: recognition.
Because here's what nobody wants to admit. That woman posting about her digital detox? She's probably going to stick to it longer than I will with my silent, noble, completely private intention to "be more present." My willpower lives in my head, where it dies quietly. Hers lives on the internet, where people are watching.
The Dumb Lens
We've been sold this beautiful lie that real self-improvement is private. That announcing your goals is tacky. That the truly disciplined among us white-knuckle their way to better habits through sheer internal fortitude, telling no one, needing no audience.
This is complete nonsense.
Private willpower is a myth. Humans are social animals who've been changing behavior through public commitment for thousands of years. We invented marriage ceremonies, religious vows, and courtroom oaths not because they're cute traditions but because we figured out that saying something out loud, in front of witnesses, fundamentally changes our relationship to keeping the promise.
The people posting about their Brick devices and analog bags and morning routines aren't being performative instead of doing the work. The performance IS the work. The posting IS the commitment device.
❝ Every Instagram story about your new habit is a tiny contract with your future self, co-signed by everyone who saw it. ❞
Smokers Who Tweet Their Way to Quitting
Researchers at George Washington University ran a trial comparing two groups of young adult smokers trying to quit. One group got a traditional smoking helpline. The other got a social media-based program where they posted about their journey publicly. The social media group was 205% more likely to attempt quitting and 214% more likely to stay smoke-free for 30 days. Posting wasn't a distraction from quitting. It was the mechanism.
Rutgers Center of Alcohol & Substance Use Studies covered the findings.
The $50 Bet That Doubles Your Odds
Yale economist Dean Karlan built an entire platform called stickK around one insight: people who designate a "referee" to monitor their goals are twice as likely to succeed. Over 425,000 commitment contracts later, users who add financial stakes and social accountability hit success rates above 70%. The site literally lets you pledge money to a cause you hate if you fail. Nothing motivates a progressive like the threat of accidentally donating to the NRA.
Learn more about stickK's approach.
The Debt-Free Scream Industrial Complex
Say what you want about Dave Ramsey. His "Debt-Free Scream" segment, where people call into his radio show to literally scream that they've paid off their debt, has become a phenomenon. Thousands of people work for years toward a goal specifically so they can have their public moment of declaration. The scream isn't the celebration after the work. For many, the anticipated scream is what sustained the work. It's a finish line made of sound waves and social proof.
Kitces.com has a fascinating breakdown of the behavioral ingenuity behind Ramsey's methods.
What Does Science Say?
Dr. Gail Matthews at Dominican University ran a study on 267 participants and found that people who wrote down their goals, committed to goal-directed actions, AND sent weekly progress updates to a friend scored significantly higher on goal achievement than those who just kept goals in their heads. The group with accountability scored 7.6 out of 10 on average. The private goal-keepers? Just 4.3. The full study is available through Dominican University.
Meanwhile, data from the American Society of Training and Development suggests that committing to someone else raises your chance of completing a goal to 65%. Add a specific accountability appointment and that jumps to 95%. AFCPE published a breakdown of this research.
Dumb Word of the Day
Ulysses Pact (yoo-LISS-eez pakt), noun. A decision made in a moment of clarity that binds your future self to a specific action, named after the Greek hero who had his sailors tie him to the mast so he could hear the Sirens without steering into the rocks.
Let's use it in a sentence: "I posted about Dry January on day one, which was basically a Ulysses pact but instead of ropes it's the judgment of 847 Instagram followers."
This week, pick one small intention you've been keeping private and make it embarrassingly public. Post it somewhere people will see it. Text it to three friends. Tell your barista. The goal doesn't have to be impressive. "I'm going to floss every day this week" is perfect. The point is to feel the slight cringe of commitment, the tiny weight of other people now knowing. Notice how differently you relate to that goal once it exists outside your head. That discomfort? That's accountability being born.
Thanks for getting dumb with me today.
Now go tell someone about that thing you've been meaning to do. Your willpower called and said it needs backup.
David 🎉
